Parenting

"To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them." (President Thomas S. Monson) Parenting is essential and impacts any child. It is not just important that we do it, but how we do it as well. You may have heard that each parent has their own “parenting style.” Some parents may say that are more loose or easy going. Others claim that they are stricter and hold their children more accountable for their actions. What is the right approach? How do gain a clear understanding about the way we raise our kids, without having to deal with culture? One thing clear that I think that every parent must understand that is that they cannot control their children. Some parents tend to have a misunderstanding when it comes to this concept. They may think of themselves as superior. They may feel entitled that since they see themselves as “the boss” that they are the one’s on control and children to not have the right to use their agency. I do not mean to offend any parent when saying that this is false. Kids overall are the ones in control of their own actions. Whether they do something right or wrong, it is based on their own free will and choice. Just as our loving Heavenly Father cannot control what we do in this life, neither can parents control their own children. Each parent has a sacred role in raising a child. However, both parents hold the sacred responsibility in teaching their children key principles that God has passed down to His children since the beginning of time. In summary the only thing a parent can do is teach their children. Everything else depends on their choices and actions. Now when a child does something wrong, how do we respond? How should we teach our child in that situation? What is the right way to discipline a child? One thing that I can say is that physically abuse is not the way to discipline a child. That is not the way to go about parenting. I remember one occasion when serving a mission in Guatemala where I met a family that had their own way of discipling their kids. They made the claim that their kids would act out so much that they needed to physically abuse their kids. I even remember us having lunch with them and hearing the father hit one of the sons with his belt because he was acting out. The spirit was most definitely not in the room. We felt so bad for the kid. Even though he had done something wrong, that was not the way to go about things. They even asked us about our opinion on the subject and they got offended by our response. I hope no parent does this same thing. Yes, children will make mistakes and we will feel frustrated at times, but we should think for one second that by hitting a child they will behave. We should look to the Savior and remember how he taught others. Even in the midst of so much hate and darkness, he was able to teach his brothers and sisters with love and compassion. When the apostles would make mistakes, He would never physically discipline them but would teach them with kindness.